JOHN: fake? what do you mean?
VRISKA: This universe! Haha! It's a fake! Fakey fake fake.
JOHN: you can say fake as many times as you want, i still won't know what you mean!
VRISKA: Pleeeeeeeease don't tell me none of you have noticed!
VRISKA: This whole universe is like someone's shitty RP, and everyone's out of character! None of this reads!
VRISKA: Like, who the FUCK is Yiffy!!!!!!!! Why should I or anyone CARE????????
JOHN: i mean
JOHN: i don't really get it either, but i had this long talk with roxy, and that feels relevant to this?
VRISKA: Yuck, don't even want to think a8out that whole mess.
VRISKA: What were you two even thinking with that, 8y the way? What was setting sail on that dingy schooner of a relationship ever going to accomplish?
JOHN: don't call my marriage a dingy schooner! it was a completely reasonably sized ship!
JOHN: we had our reasons!
JOHN: i am pretty sure!
VRISKA: Yeah, you sound super sure a8out all of this.
VRISKA: Making up pro8lems to have pro8lems!
VRISKA: So lame.
JOHN: it does sound... kind of bad.
JOHN: but that doesn't mean it's fake!
VRISKA: Come oooooooon!
VRISKA: Do you honestly think I spent all that time commanding a kickass ghost army to not know a haplessly doomed little world when I see one?
VRISKA: I can practically smell it on you!
JOHN: hey, not this again!
JOHN: i smell completely normal!
JOHN: my odor is well within "real john" standards thank you very much.
VRISKA: This is exactly what I'm talking a8out. No8ody real would say that.
VRISKA: You're like a sadder, less interesting version of a guy I kind of liked talking to. When was the last time you did........ anything?
JOHN: i get around. i've been talking to people. i just talked to a new guy on the way.
VRISKA: What happened to the guy that punched me in the face?
JOHN: that guy is right here, he's still me!
JOHN: ok, wait, that makes me sound way too proud of myself.
VRISKA: It was like the 8est thing you've ever done!
JOHN: it was not! you're just weird!!!
JOHN: anyway what i am saying is, this is just how it's been for a while?
VRISKA: Surely you can see that's a pro8lem? 8e serious.
JOHN: i am serious! and don't call me shirley.
JOHN: it is true though, everything did feel pretty... pointless for a long time. and it would bother me SO MUCH!
JOHN: when i was living by myself i would consider where to go next. except there was no "next." nothing was worth trying for anymore.
JOHN: but harry is. he's real!
VRISKA: As real as a guy can get, stuck here.
JOHN: what, like he could be magically more real???
JOHN: load him up in some silly circus cannon and blast him out of the mirror verse!
JOHN: actually you might think this is kind of funny!
JOHN: a long time ago i was supposed to go back and defea-
VRISKA: Your ecto-human-guardian-si8ling or whatever is pro8a8ly sending a squad of 8ozos to apprehend your ex as we speak. So I say the less we talk and the sooner we 8low this gru8sickle stand, the sooner we can get there 8efore we lose access to our shortcut.
JOHN: yeah when you spell it all out like that i can see what y-
JOHN: wait, WHAT!!!
JOHN: why didn't you just say that earlier?!
VRISKA: John. That's what I've 8een doing this whole time!
VRISKA: Now, c'mon! Race you there!!!!!!!!